Everything You Need To Know About How To Have a Threesome
Have you been curious about threesomes but felt they were only for porn or the movies? That certainly isn’t the case. With a little planning, you can make a threesome a reality!
Here, we’ll answer all of your questions about threesomes including how to have a threesome, how to bring up a threesome to your partner, how to find a third person for a threesome, and more!
How Do I Bring Up Having a Threesome To My Partner
As with all things sex, communication and honesty are key. Casually ask your partner if they have ever had a threesome or have ever fantasized about having one.
You can continue the conversation and let your partner know your thoughts and desires about a threesome. Keep it light and fun and respect your partner’s response.
How Do I Choose a Third Partner for a Threesome?
If you are in a relationship, it is important to choose your third partner thoughtfully. Aside from avoiding best friends or exes, it is also important to practice safety when it comes to planning a threesome.
Here are some general tips for finding a third person for a threesome to keep in mind:
- Consider finding a single person in your friend group who you are acquainted with but not too close to.
- Always practice safe sex
- Consider using a dating site if you are a single woman looking to find a couple open to a threesome
- If you meet someone online, be sure to video chat with them first. If you do meet up, bring a friend or your partner and only meet in a public place.
- Chat up an employee at your local sex store for tips or advice on where to meet potential threesome partners
Do Threesomes Always Include Two Women and One Man?
Whether you want to have a threesome with two women and a man or two men and one woman is completely up to you. While two females and one male seem to be the threesome we hear about most, if two men and one woman sounds fun to you, go for it! Or maybe you want to try both scenarios at some point.
How Do I Bring Up a Threesome to a Third Person?
Keep it casual and fun and ask your interested person if they would be open to a threesome. You could say something like, “My partner and I think you are great and we think it would be fun to have a threesome with you. Would you be open to that?”.
If you are friends or acquaintances, let the person know you don’t want your relationship or friendship to change. If it is someone you just met, let them know you’d like some time to get to know each other and hang out to see if attraction and trust are there.
Don’t worry too much about putting yourself out there. Keep it light and casual and be open to any response.
What Are the Rules During a Threesome?
Before having a threesome, couples should set clear rules and boundaries. Discuss things such as:
- Are you okay with oral sex, kissing, penetration, etc.?
- What are your expectations?
- What do you hope to get out of the experience?
- Are you okay if the third person sleeps over? Do you want the third person to stay and cuddle after or leave right away?
- Do you want to stay in touch with the third person after the threesome?
- Designate a safe phrase if you are feeling uncomfortable or need a break. This could be something like “I need some water”
- Remind the third person to speak up if they feel uncomfortable at any point
Do I Need Extra Condoms for a Threesome?
Plan to have plenty of condoms on hand for threesomes. If a guy is taking turns penetrating two women, he will want a new condom each time he goes back and forth. Sex toys, lube, and cleansing wipes are also good to have on hand. Toys should always be wiped down between partners.
How Do You Get a Threesome Started?
Ease your way into a threesome and try not to overthink things. Starting with some light snacks or a glass of wine is a great way to start. Chatting and hanging out often leads to flirting and things will most likely progress naturally from there.
Massages are a great way to ease into intimacy, raise desire, set the mood, and acclimate everyone with each other.
Try to keep things natural and in the moment. Touch and move how you like and remember that you will find a natural rhythm at some point.
What Are Good Positions for a Threesome?
Here are some threesome positions to try:
- Arrange yourselves in a circle and go down on each other
- For a woman with two men, get on your hands and knees and have one partner penetrate you from behind while performing oral on the other man
- For a man and two women, have the man lie down with one woman performing oral on him and the other woman straddling his face as he gives her oral
- For a man and two women, have a woman ride him and the other receive oral as she straddles his face
- Have one woman lie down on her back with the other woman on top of her. Have the man enter the woman on top doggy style while the two women touch and pleasure each other
- For male-male-female threesomes, you can also go for positions that allow for double penetration. For example, one guy lies down on his back at the edge of the bed with his legs draped over the edge. The woman rides him cowgirl style as the second man stands on the ground behind her. He can enter her anally either standing, kneeling, or crouching, depending on the height of the bed.
And this is just a very short list of ideas… the options are practically endless!
More Tips for Having a Successful Threesome
- Allow yourself to relax, have fun, and remember that everyone else is probably feeling a bit nervous too
- Feel free to use your hands to guide your partners on how to touch you
- If one party ever seems left out, start interacting and playing with that person to draw them back into the action
- Make sure your bed is big enough for all three people if you plan to fall asleep together after
- Pay attention to the body language, sexual cues, and breathing of the other two people in your threesome
- Keep an open mind and be willing to try new things (as long as you are comfortable with them)
- Have extra condoms on hand
- Put a towel down
- Offer a drink and a snack
- Set the mood with music, if desired
- Don’t overthink it or try to plan too much, allow things to happen naturally
- Give yourself freedom to explore
Have You Ever Had a Threesome or Wanted to Try a Threesome?
Has a threesome been a long time fantasy of yours? I hope these tips give you the guidance needed to explore this fantasy and make it a reality.
For a safe space to discuss questions about threesomes or experiences with threesomes (and any things sex and women), consider joining my free Facebook group. This dedicated, sacred space was created for women to share and discuss everything and anything related to womanhood, empowerment, sex, love, relationships, and more!