healthy sex-space.

Food and fitness are generally the two biggest deciders in reaching optimal health. It’s the 80/20 rule of thumb, that is, 80% of what you put in your mouth affects how you look and feel and 20% is affected by your fitness output. It’s a great guideline to keep in mind, however if it were all so easy, why is it that obesity is on the rise in Australia, along with divorce rates, prescription drugs & alcohol intake? It would seem that with lifes extra stresses, people are using negative crutches to deal with the pressure and tough slog of today’s fast-paced rat race.

In an ideal world, we’re all meant to eat five a day – ideally three vegies and two pieces of fruit. Not to mention, plenty of protein and enough carbs to keep you going, or no carbs depending on what silly diet you’re on. Then there is the exercise debate…which one do we do? Yoga or Pilates, running or swimming, weights but not too many weights…whoa it’s a lot to remember!

It would seem that maybe something is missing in that mix? Of course, having a healthy diet and keeping in good physical shape are a must for leading a strong and vigorous life, but imagine if I said all you need to do to look and feel smokin’ hot is add SEX to your regime? Knee-wobbling, mind-blowing, good old sex. Screw fad diets, screw starving yourself, screw slaving away in the gym for hours. Create space for sex!

Canadian Sex and Intimacy coach Kim Anami urges couples to pencil in weekly sex sessions. Not just a 5-minute, yawn-worthy, blink-and-its-over sex romp. Kim prescribes 3 hour long ‘gourmet sex’ – massage, exploration, oral sex, new toys, fantasy play, sex in the bush/jungle, on a beach, in a boat, up against the wall, in the shower and public/outdoor sex. Kim encourages couples to engage in foreplay, not just the 10 minutes before sex, but all day long, from a suggestive sext message, to an inexplicit flirty email in the morning hinting what you may or may not want to do to him. If one is feeling anxious, depressed or unsettled, Kim prescribes orgasms, with a partner or alone, to overcome the feelings. She believes in the power of sexual nourishment, and with a whopping following like hers, it must be saying a thing or two about society becoming more open-minded and less traditional.

So are you one of those people who finds sex a chore, or just something to keep their partner happy? Or maybe you don’t have enough time or energy in the day. Are you asking why should I have more sex? Simple really… Kathleen Doheny helps me unravel what the health benefits of sex are:

  • Sex is great physical and psychological exercise for the body and brain
  • Sex uses muscles the body usually wouldn’t use (i.e. pelvic floor muscles)
  • Sex will make your skin glow and look more youthful
  • Sex & orgasms releases happy endorphins – putting you in a better mood for the day
  • Sex decreases blood pressure and stress levels, reducing the chance of having a heart attack
  • Sex boosts your immune system and helps fight off colds and infections
  • Sex & orgasms promote sleep as well as weight loss
  • Sex means more ejaculation = less chance of getting prostate cancer
  • Sex promotes intimacy, boosting the ‘love hormone’ oxytocin, helping you build trust, connection, fulfilment, bonding and generosity qualities.

In my opinion, food and sex go hand in hand. What you eat can subsequently affect your libido. Who feels like sex after a greasy burger, some fries, a couple of cigarettes and a beer or two? No one I know. Or if they do, it’s not very enjoyable, memorable sex. So instead of feeding your mouth, feed your sexual energy. Give the dog a bone (pun intend!) Treat yourself to some lovin’ instead of some muffin, or as Kim Anami says so eloquently: Eat less. Fuk more.

In order to get your sexy back, put some time and effort into what you consume; fast food is called fast food for a reason…so put time into what you want to eat. To develop and generate a healthy sex life, first you need to work on yourself and what you consume (you are what you eat). Here are a few Rosie Tips to get your started:

  • If it’s green or brown generally it’s good (yes chocolate included!). My favourite slow fast-food is Iku!
  • Walk or run instead of taking the bus/driving to work
  • Start the day with a freshly squeezed juice and watch your tummy flatten or drink some organic Apple Cider Vinegar to cleanse the internal organs first thing in the morning.
  • Swap soft drink for sparkling natural mineral water (bubble substitute)
  • Abide by the ‘No Alcohol on Weekdays’ rule, and on the weekends cut down on alcohol intake or at least change it up with a glass of water in between drinks or even make it a Spritzer instead of a full glass of wine
  • Drink a peppermint tea instead of a full fat cappuccino
  • Have an apple instead of a sugar-laced muesli bar
  • Quit smoking. Struggling? Try what worked for me… Alan Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Smoking
  • Go off the pill…and see how much better you feel!
  • Last but not least… Have. More. Sex.

Your body is a temple.

Make love your drug.

Think about it…

Eating a healthy, wholesome diet along with daily exercise can get you feeling more confident in your body, making you feel sexier, getting you laid more…making you a happier person! It’s a ripple effect. Do you ever see that person come into work with a bounce in their step, a glow in their cheeks and a smirk on their face for the day? More often than not it’s most likely because they got some bed-sheet time last night with their Misses or Mister. The other day I met a man at my yoga-dance and I could have sworn he was in his late 20s; he had such a bright, youthful aura to him. Then I found out he was 44 years old! I asked him what his key to looking so youthful was…and guess what? He said SEX! He also imformed me he was a Tantra teacher so probably gets a whole lot more sex than the average Joe, but either way he looked glowing and amazing for his age!

a healthy sex-space = a healthy head-space = healthy body-space

Just like our bodies need food to fuel our fire, so too does our sexual energy. Some people go years and years without tapping into their sexual energy, starving their libido of any enjoyment, refraining from any stimulation. We’re not nuns’ people! We are human beings with a natural, innate yearning for sexual connection. Everyone has a sex drive, some particularly higher or lower than others, but everyone has one all the same. I like to call it your sexual energy because it’s like a magical resource that, when tapped into, can bring vitality into your life. Often, however, that pool is neglected.

A sexual appetite is healthy so try tapping into your sexual energy pool. If you’re in a long term relationship or marriage and your sex has become stale and un-spontaneous, you’re single and finding it hard to find a man to connect and open your heart with, or maybe having sex is against your religious values…everyone’s sexual energy should be explored and celebrated, whether by sharing it with someone else or even with yourself. It’s our human nature to want to explore our sexuality….

Becoming aware of your sexuality and adding some exciting new ingredients and flavours to your sex life can create a healthy sex-space, in turn, transforming your life into an abundant, juicy, free-flowing, enticing adventure…where you look and feel amazing.

Are you starving yourself of some wholesome, organic, yummy sex?

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