6 Tantric Ways to Love Yourself

Loving yourself isn’t just about writing down affirmations on your mirror, meditating once a day or being your own best friend.

There is so much more to ‘self love’ than this.

First of all, let me clear something up. Self love and putting yourself #1 is not selfish. I repeat NOT selfish.

In fact it’s better for everyone in your life if you love yourself, since:

“You simply can’t fill up someone else’s cup if yours is empty.”

I have also realised that self love stems from a total and utter self acceptance.

Accepting ALL the pieces of you that you love…and don’t necessarily love (yep, that’s your muffin top, your jealous bitch side, your upper lip hairs, your wonky vagina etc.).

Because when we surrender to our wholeness of light and dark, that’s when we radiate love and fullness.

We are whole.

And besides, how much sexier is a woman who owns ALL of who she is?

I love to offer my clients slightly unique, more ‘open-minded’ ways to connect with the love for ourself. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

These are FOUNDATIONAL practices and a great place to start…

1. Massage your breasts

Our breast tissue houses not only our hormones but also our heart.

They are the physical, tangible manifestation of love, and yet so many of us have so much shame and self-hatred around our boobs.

breast-health-massage-1024x682By gently caressing and massaging our bosoms with love, care and tenderness we are physically practicing the art of self love. If you love yourself, you must love your body. We hold immense power and energy in our palms and by channeling that energy into our breasts, we are essentially directing it into our heart Chakra.

Breast massage is especially beneficial if you are feeling hurt, wounded, broken-hearted, rejected or sad. It will physically and emotionally fill up your cup, release hormones and allow your sensuality to be explored. It also makes your boobs bigger!


  • Buy some coconut oil or almond oil
  • Add some drops of your fav essential oil (Lavender, Wild Orange, Ylang Ylang perhaps?)
  • Mix in a special oil mixing bowl (I have a little wooden one that I use)
  • Rub your beautiful ta-ta’s with all the love, acceptance, joy and passion you have sister!!
  • If you need some assistance on where to begin, you can check out this video by my sister Adina.

2. Find a local Kundalini Yoga class

Kundalini Yoga is an incredible technology, and was a total game changer for me in 2014 when I discovered it. Here’s what happened (in a nutshell, over the space of about 6 months):

I quit smoking cigarettes.

I connected with my life-force energy.

I was able to channel my sexual energy…in a more healthy way.

I got high!!

Russell Brand calls it the “crack-cocaine of yoga”!

It’s a yoga that uses the breath to move the body. It works with your ‘Kundalini Energy’, which we ALL have within us. Kundalini energy is your life-force, powerful, pranic energy which lives in the base of our spine, our Root Chakra. By practicing specific exercises, we can move that energy throughout our entire body, rather than having it live in our sexual organs. When we get this energy flowing more freely, we will have more vitality, creativity and juicy-ness!

You will glow, shine and radiate. I promise.


  • Find a class near you.
  • Go to that class.
  • If there is no local teacher, jump on you-tube, try THIS CLASS by Naomi.
  • Don’t be put off by all the white, head scarves and chanting!

3. Write a letter to your ex (and burn it)

If we don’t forgive and create space, how is anyone meant to be drawn into our field?

Often a really big part that holds us back in life and in loving ourselves fully is the pain, trauma or negative experiences from an ex partner or toxic relationship. Our ex-partners leave an imprint on us – energetically, especially in our womb space – and whether it’s positive or negative, it’s important to cut those chords and release those imprints, so we can be fully free.

burn it

Instagram: @rosie.rees

One way of doing that is writing a letter to your partner (or to anyone who has hurt you or you have hurt in the past) and making a ceremony of burning it and letting it/him/her go. I take my clients to a beautiful secluded beach where we watch the sunset, pull angel cards, chat, light a little fire and ritualistically burn the letters. I remind my clients to write from the heart – soul to soul – so rather than blaming or accusing, which is what our ego wants to do, we can write with compassion and forgiveness. It feels MUCH better doing from a place of love, than a place of hate.


  • Feel into someone you need to let go of
  • Write a letter (from your heart) expressing all the things you want/wanted to say
  • Find a place where you are alone, ideally in nature
  • Read it out loud and express any emotion that comes up
  • Ritualistically, rip it up, burn it etc. Do what you need to do in order to let it GO!
  • When in doubt buy a Black Obsidian Yoni Egg

4. Own your shadow

Owning your shadow means owning ALL of you – your jealous bitch, your addict, your slut, your psycho, your door-mat, your binger, your aggressor etc. Self love is not just about loving all your good, amazing, positive features (that’s easy)…it’s about loving, owning and claiming your sh*t too.

In my sessions I take you through an empowering process of falling in love with your shadow. When you discover her and officially meet her, she comes out of the dark, out of the shadows, and is owned and claimed. And you realise…she just wants to be loved!


  • Find a quiet space
  • Allow yourself to actually feel (rather than resist) the uncomfortable, yucky feelings inside you
  • Feel or visualise that woman (or girl)
  • Connect with her.
  • Love her.
  • If you need a one off 1:1 session to feel her, please contact Rosie to book it in.

5. Ditch your friends…for a weekend. {solo retreat}

No, I don’t mean abandon all your friends for good, however taking some quality TIME OUT for yourself sans your BFFs, is essential if you want to love yourself fully.

Recently one of my clients who I have been coaching for over a year shared with me how she went away for 2 weeks BY HERSELF over Christmas and New Years. Yep, totally alone. 2 weeks. Camping. On the beach. Sleeping under the stars. Four wheel driving. SOLO. Over Christmas!! I was so floored and impressed by her courage and boldness. She came away from the solo holiday feeling empowered, free, liberated and strong in her sense of self. She admitted there was elements of loneliness from time to time, however overall she had a blast, got to know and love herself more fully and become her own bestie.


  • Get out your diary (or i-phone)
  • Pencil in a weekend in advance to spend by yourself
  • Google search some beautiful places in nature where you can stay and ‘solo retreat’ – lastminute.com
  • Switch off your phone, connect with yourself and enjoy the solitude!


6. Make love to yourself {be your own tantric lover}

Most people masturbate as a “functional release” to get them off or put them to sleep of a night. It’s a goal-oriented-quickie, which Kim Anami calls ‘junk food sex’. I have never been that kind of person. In fact a few years ago, I even stopped calling it “masturbation” and began calling it “self pleasure”, or what Kim Anami would call ‘gourmet solo sex’. I began to treat myself as I would treat a gorgeous lover.

I would schedule in a date night, set the scene with candles, incense and essential oils. I would put on some nice music, take a bath and take time for ME, time to relax and pamper my Yoni with a pleasure wand or my jade egg. This is the essence of self love – a physical, albeit sexual, practice.


  • Lie down on your bed and begin with a meditation {online sensual meditation coming your way in a few weeks!!)
  • Holding one hand on your heart and one on your womb, take 10 big deep belly breaths, bringing your awareness within.
  • Start to feel the subtle energies moving in your body and drop into a space of calm, softness and total presence.
  • Be open to being sensual with your touch. #noshame
  • Open your Throat Chakra and allow sound to escape.
  • Move your body however she wants to move.
  • Take your time, slow down, and remember – it doesn’t matter if you orgasm or not. It’s about the quality of your time with yourself
  • Enjoy the process of being your own lover, and if you need to re-vamp your sex toy drawer, check out my online shop: www.rosierees.com/shop

I hope these practices have been helpful to adding some new and exciting insight into your daily self love practice.

Do you want to add more sensuality to your sadhana? Check out this article here.

Love Rx


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