10 Tips on Anal Play

Guest post by Sex Coach Extraordinaire, Lahnee Pavlovich (theeroticcoaches.com)

Sex itself is a bit of a taboo subject, so I suppose the topic of anal sex would be right up there in the
no-go zone. But I quite like to push the boundaries so…. let’s talk about anal!

Did you know that many women can’t orgasm through vaginal penetration alone? However, the way
the female anatomy is designed means the anus has enormous amounts of nerve endings both
surrounding it and directly within it. So, a lot of ladies find that the stimulation of these nerves,
especially when combined with vaginal penetration or clitoral stimulation makes them cum, and
cum hard!

But, and this is a big but (no pun intended) there is a right and wrong way to go about anal play and
anal sex. So, here are my top ten tips for Anal:

1. Go to the bathroom first

Yes, it’s a gross thought but it needs to be said. Prepare yourself and make sure you have had a healthy bowel movement on the day you wish to play. Another option is to do an enema beforehand, which will clear the colon of any debris. (You can get an enema kit from the pharmacy. Check out this video on how to do a coffee enema.) Oh and one more thing – it’s only poo so relax! “Nothing is taboo with the right person!”


I cannot stress this enough. Lube is your best friend when it comes to anal play. It’s important to use a water based or natural lube (like coconut oil) and use it liberally. Don’t get the sticky, cheap lubes that dry up quickly. In fact, we have an organic WB lube now in our online shop – LAUNCHING TODAY – which we highly recommend. Click here to purchase the BUT ANAL LUBRICANT.

3. Foreplay is essential

Get very aroused before you play. Just as with vaginal sex, if you are not aroused and if the juices aren’t flowing, your body won’t be relaxed, and things can get painful. Especially if you are not used to anal play. I suggest massaging the clitoris and lots of oral sex before diving into anal!

4. Soften & relax the butt cheeks

Soften the anus before sticking anything in there. Anal play is a process. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, so take your time. Massage the rim, if you’re playing with you partner have them kiss it, lick it, move their fingers around the outside slowing adding more pressure and inserting them one at a time (WITH THE LUBE!) while massaging and stretching from the inside. Keep in mind, this shouldn’t be clinical, this should all be playful, sensual, loving, fun, arousing and cheeky. When you are feeling hot, horny and ready – ease your partner in nice and slow. Once again, REAPPLY MORE LUBE FIRST! The head going in will probably (ok definitely) hurt a little at first… but it’s the widest bit so once that’s in, you’re good to go. Try to relax your butt muscles as much as possible too.

5. Touch yourself

Helpful hint – touch yourself while your partner is playing back there, it will keep you nice and excited. Rub your clit, your nipples, and tune into how your body is feeling and reacting to these new sensations. Let out lots of sounds to help you relax and open up. This will also turn your partner on even more!

6. Introduce toys!

Once you are feeling open, relaxed and aroused, bring in some toys. I love vaginal play first while using the black obsidian butt plug. It opens a whole new world of sensations. Some women may like to explore with vibrators and other dildos like the Rose Quartz Pleasure Wand. Having two phalic shafts in at once (one in vagina, one in ass) can also feel erotic and orgasmic for some women.

7. Express emotions as they come up

It’s totally normal for emotions to arise during anal. Many women (and men) hold tension in their butt and when we are guided to relax and open in this space, a space that’s usually so “taboo”, emotions such as sadness, anger, and even rage may arise. Allow these emotions to run through you – don’t hold them in. Let your partner know what’s coming up so they can hold you in that experience.

8. Slowly slowly

When you start having anal sex, the key is to go slow and work up the speed if you want to. Whatever you enjoy is perfect but starting slow will help avoid too much pain or tearing which can happen if you aren’t properly prepared.

9. Safety first

Another helpful hint here is to use a condom. Even if you don’t usually use one with your partner for vaginal sex, it just helps with bacteria and all that yukky stuff. Also, never use the same condom going from anal to vaginal and back again because both holes hold different bacteria and you can cause an infection.

10. Pole Position

Find the position that works for you. I personally love anal from a ‘doggy style’ position but with my legs spread really wide so I’m almost in child’s pose (for the yoga lovers out there you know what I mean – everyone else, look it up). I also keep touching myself during penetration and it feels fucking fantastic!

There you go. My top 10 tips for Anal Sex.

Happy playing!

Love Lahnee xo

Guest post by Sex Coach Extraordinaire, Lahnee Pavlovich (theeroticcoaches.com)