Why Self Worth Is the New Sexy

We often hear about how confidence is sexy and alluring. It is enviable when someone oozes radiance, spunk, and charisma.

But, confidence can be faked!

Although self-worth and confidence are often used interchangeably, there are many differences between these two terms. For example, someone can appear confident but be struggling with their self-worth.

If you have wondered what the secret is to true confidence, here are some tips for enhancing your self-worth and connecting with yourself on a deep level.

Do You Struggle With Your Self-Worth?

Here are some questions to ask yourself to help discover if you may have struggled with self-worth:

  • Do you feel worthy?
  • Have you experienced rejection from a partner, friends, or family?
  • Do you use your sexuality as a means of fulfilling needs for confidence, meaning, security, and attention?
  • Have you experienced abandonment?
  • Do you find yourself repeating the same mistakes?
  • Do you repeat certain negative scenarios in your mind? Have you latched onto certain negative narratives about yourself?
  • Do you allow negative past experiences to dictate your future choices?
  • Are You Searching For Self-Worth From External Sources?

Many of us make the mistake of trying to find self-worth from external sources such as:

  • What do people think of me?
  • Am I pretty enough?
  • Am I popular enough?
  • How much do people like me?
  • How much do my friends and family like me?
  • How included do I feel?
  • How special or cared for do I feel by those around me?

Searching for external validation is a path to destruction as self-worth can only come from within. If you expect to find self-worth from the opinions of others, how you are treated, or how you think others see you, you will struggle to be truly content and at peace with yourself.

Self-worth is how you value yourself. It comes from within. Not from others.

Self-worth is how you value yourself. It comes from within, not from others.

Are You Afraid of Success?

It may sound bizarre to consider that you may be afraid of success, but just as you can be afraid to fail, you may not feel worthy of succeeding.

Many of us are not truly honest with ourselves and simply skim along the surface of life without digging into who we really are and what we are feeling.

It takes work and it can be tough, but it is worth the effort. Remind yourself that you are capable of and worthy of abundance, wealth, success, brilliance, self-worth, confidence, and great things. You deserve it and it can be yours. Work for it, claim it and take control.

How Can You Cultivate Self-Worth?

1. Practice Radical Self-Acceptance

First and foremost, true self-worth begins with complete self-acceptance. Accept and acknowledge what happened in your past, work through it (this will most likely take some time and help from a professional), forgive yourself, let go, and move forward. What matters most is right now.

2. Do Not Play Victim

Placing the blame on others steals your power away.

It is time to take back your power and quit blaming your weight, your family, your school, your upbringing, your skin, your issues, your financial status, etc. It is necessary to confront any trauma and seek steps for healing from it, but once you have acknowledged and worked through issues, it is time to step back into your power.

You are not who you are because of what has happened to you — you are who you CHOOSE to be.

3. Be Completely Connected To Yourself

Take some time to meditate and sit with your honest feelings, thoughts, and emotions surrounding self-worth. Work on getting rid of wasted energy, negative self-talk, and past wounds.

It can be easy to fall into the trap of convincing ourselves that we are fine, stable, or most confident. Don’t be afraid to dig deep, confront trauma, acknowledge areas you need to work on, and dive into your inner self. Only then can you work on moving forward toward your best self.

What Are More Ways To Improve My Self-Worth?

If you want to improve your self-worth, here are more areas to focus on:

  • Put your inner ‘mean girl’ to rest – These are the negative thoughts and observations that you feel about yourself and dwell on. Try to start finding contradictions any time you think or feel something negative about yourself.

For example, if you find yourself focusing on a certain feature or negatively attribute about yourself, find something positive about it instead. An excellent way to check your thoughts is to ask yourself, “Would I say this to a best friend or my mother”? If the answer is no, you certainly should not be speaking to yourself that way.

  • Focus on positive self-love rituals – Integrate more nurturing, positive rituals into your life that focus on self-love (i.e. workouts, laughing, caring friends, animals, baths, walks, fresh air, sunshine, etc.)
  • Check-in with yourself – Before having sex, whether it is with a long-term partner or a one night stand, ask yourself if it serves you.
  • Write it down – Start a gratitude journal and make a list of what you are grateful for in your life or good things that happened that day. You may also want to consider writing down a list of compliments you’ve been told.
  • Treat your body as a temple – View yourself with love, respect, and grace. Fuel your body with nutritious food, move your body, get a daily dose of sunshine, and be kind to yourself.
  • Meditate – Take some time each day to meditate and be still with your thoughts.
  • Determine your best qualities – Think about the attributes you are most proud of, accomplishments you are proud of, or goals you have achieved.
  • Consider areas you need to improve – Along with determining your best qualities, think about areas you would like to improve. Do you want to work on becoming more patient? Forgiving? Being more punctual? Getting a new position at work? Being more assertive? Decide on any areas you would like to work on and come up with a plan to work on these facets of yourself.

Writing a journal allows you to self reflect.

Writing a journal allows you to self reflect.

Are You Ready to Take Control of Your Self Worth and Own Your Unique Power and Beauty?

The more we face the challenges in our lives with self-esteem and confidence, the more we can move forward toward true self-worth. With self-worth, true confidence that comes from a place of love and acceptance will naturally emerge.

Wishing you a beautiful journey toward true self-worth!