kick the over-thinking cap.

Throughout the duration of our lives we meet so many different people; we experience so many different situations and encounter some profound events.

Do you ever get that feeling when you’re in an incredible place, experiencing an amazing thing or with someone really special and you have to pinch yourself and tell yourself to stay in this present moment because inevitably it will pass? It doesn’t happen for me every day, but it will occasionally happen when I am with someone I love who I don’t get to see very often, at a concert watching one of my favourite artists, or or in a picturesque part of the world where I am overwhelmed or in awe. In these times, I have to clear my mind of all the clutter and just be present and feel the feeling fully…because if I don’t I will miss it in a blink of an eye. So many people don’t appreciate these events, instead placing pressure on what will happen next…

I will relate this feeling to the feeling we get when we meet someone we really like. One thing women tend to do is over-think, over-analyse, over-scrutinise, over-stalk and over-dissect the situation, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. It is known that a jealous woman does better research than the FBI (especially with online resources such as Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter, Instagram etc. so easily accessible) There’s no stopping her! Women tend to pin their hopes on tomorrow, hanging on every text message, wondering when they will see them again, what he’s thinking/feeling about the whole thing, labelling ‘what are we’, and to a larger extent, wonder how dapper he will look at the end of the wedding alter and what their future kids will look like (ok, maybe this is over-doing it, but just admit it…it’s probably happened at least once in your life!).

Overthinking isn’t something you’re born doing, it’s a learned habit you form over time, most likely as a defense mechanism to the possibility of failure. Research has shown that over 57% of women between 25-35 years of age will over-think, compared to only 43% of men, also showing that over-thinkers are more prone to sustained sadness and negative thinking. Although it’s completely natural to think about your love/crush interest and want to see them again, a line has to be drawn in the proverbial sand. To overcome ‘waiting by the phone’ or constantly thinking about what tomorrow or next year will bring, women need to exercise some serious self control and be in charge of their mind and where it takes them, as like anything in life, if we don’t have some direction and self control the wind will take us anywhere. If we’re constantly wondering or concerned about tomorrow, then today will pass us by and how can we genuinely enjoy a special moment fully if our mind is frolicking around the fields of tomorrow? As much fun as it is to fantasise and dream about your unborn offspring and where you might go on your honeymoon together, it is in your best interest to put a hold on it and stay present in the beautiful moment that is NOW. Why? Because everything happens in divine timing.

So I will leave you in the wise words of Buddha…who I think knew a thing or two about this kind of stuff:

“The secret of health of both the mind and body is not to mourn the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly”.


photo = me in Lake Balaton, Hungary